i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
