I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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