The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
