I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
