someone get that fucking seahorse.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
