I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
