why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
