forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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