Screwed.edu
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
