who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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