I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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