i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just pee around me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
