did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
