that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
