Will you blow on my dice?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
