I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
dude. I can hear the air.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
