Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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