Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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