U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
