Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
