are you still at the devil's house?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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