im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I deserve this hangover.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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