yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
