Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
