just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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