I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
