im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
