She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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