somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
