walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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