She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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