Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Randomize
