Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
