did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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