question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
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