Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
