Sry I called you an 8
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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