So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
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