Is it normal to miss your booty call?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
