Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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