guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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