Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
