i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
