I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
