Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Moan for me like Helen Keller
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
