that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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