She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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