i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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