Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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