I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
