wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
