Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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