I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
